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The 30 best comments from my Daily Mail article

Today, the Daily Mail published a piece by me about trying to get my tubes tied on the NHS, similar to the one I wrote for the Guardian in January. As you can imagine, the comments section was a riot. Everyone told me not to read the comments, but why would I do that to myself? I’d miss out on so much gold.

The title is a slight lie because there are over 2,000 comments already and I did not in any sense read them all, because I still have to find time in the day to glare at children and milk the National Health Service dry. But here are some of my favourites, and my responses. Which I won’t be putting in the comments section, because that’s like trying to debate with a floor lamp.

The best of the Daily Mail comments

1.

cakeThis is 100% true.

2. breeder

 

If anything was going to change my mind, it’s definitely the thought of having Rod Stewart’s spawn.

3. unloved

Every night I cuddle a cold, unfeeling house brick, and wonder what it’d be like to have emotions.

4. dont 4

Is there a formula yet for the number of comments before someone invokes Katie Hopkins?

5. journalism

I’m glad I could help you discover what ‘journalism’ means.

6. hips 1

The irony is not lost on me, especially when I’m trying to fit into airline seats. Though that may also be the cake and pies.

7.

oh

I think what you’re trying to say here is that I’m thick, but the problem is that if I’m thick then I don’t need a lobotomy because I’m already thick. Do you see? Or have you had one yourself?

8. puddle

Man reads Daily Mail, accuses others of being shallow

9.

my fault then

I don’t appear immature or unconvincing to the doctors. I appear female. That’s the difference.

10.

simpleton

BRB, buying business cards that say “Holly Brockwell, Simpleton.” I’ll start giving them out after my lobotomy.

11.

terrible

I’m so glad we could agree on this.

12. what

Of all the women to perv on in the Daily Mail, you choose me? Dude.

13.

true

You should meet my ex. You’d get along.

14.

vagina

You haven’t lived until Daily Mail commenters have debated the relative size of your vagina.

15.

wont

I really hope you missed a word.

16.

attractive

This is definitely the debate I was hoping to inspire.

17.

condoms

I’m sorry to break this to you… LOL GEDDIT?

18.

dave

Please email nope@nope.com

19, 20, 21, 22.

dont 1

dont 2

dont 3

dont 5

These people have only ever had sex when they were actively trying for a baby.

23.

er

I think this lady read a different article.

24.

leaves

That’s a whole lot of life advice from someone who can’t spell “you’re”

25.

CD0-OsSXIAEJf4-

 

Ooh, are we making sandcastles?

26.

satc

I’m extremely flattered that this dude thinks I have a “Sex and the City style life.”

27.

sleeping

Is this a stupid comment I couldn’t be bothered reading fully it

28.

doctor

Username suggests this person is totally unbiased

29.
boring

Have children! They’ll keep you from getting bored*

*although so will Scrabble and that’s quite a lot cheaper

30.

women

True. I’ve just changed my mind about reading the comments. Thanks, mate!

 

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4 thoughts on “The 30 best comments from my Daily Mail article

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