When DM packs attack

An Account Director at a certain London agency recently received a DM pack from one Umbrella Risk Management. And this is what he sent them in return:

Sent: 18 February 2009 18:01
To: ‘info@team-umbrella.co.uk’
Subject: I received your DM pack.

To whom it may concern,

I love Green & Black’s chocolate. My fiancé’s mum got me the G&B cook book as a present last year and I haven’t stopped using it. Their recipe for the lemon drizzle cake with sunken chocolate pieces is a particular favourite around the office.

I was, therefore, surprised and delighted to see a free sample of their quality product in the beautifully hand fulfilled mail pack you just sent me and 7 other individuals at our agency to introduce yourself as “the promotional risk specialists.”

However, that initial wave of surprise and delight has since subsided to be immediately replaced with persistent waves of nausea and fear.

The samples that were included in each of the beautifully hand fulfilled mail packs, tasted awful. The most accurate description that I’ve heard from round the office is that they tasted like hairspray. Other descriptions included:
“They taste something like I imagine petrol to taste”
“They taste all chemically!”
“Are these safe?”

I would hazard a guess that the chocolate has been contaminated by the other materials in the beautifully hand fulfilled mail pack, specifically, I would guess it’s the poly-wrap on your informational DVD (that I am unlikely to open).
It surely couldn’t be the mug, could it? They’re designed to be drunk from! Yikes. I daren’t drink from it now. I certainly won’t retain that element.

Just thought you’d want to know – whether you chalk this up as a ‘response’ to include in your results analysis is up to you. I would certainly say that you have successfully established yourselves as experts in promotional risk.


Not quite the infamous Virgin dinner letter from WCRS, but it made me chuckle.

2 thoughts on “When DM packs attack

    • copybot says:

      It hasn’t been positively established as a hoax, has it? I know it’s been suggested but I thought that was just a rumour.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s